Drops of painful tears.

-continues-
Most of the annoyance in my school to me is from the schoolmates. I'm not trying to be arrogant but if you were me, you would probably move school or get extreme depression.
I'm already tired of crying and shouting everyday. People nowadays are so heartless that they are so wasteful of their words. The words they used are not the pleasant ones but the offending words. They don't know how much it freaking hurts me to the soul. I know it sounded crazy but the way they judge me, offend me and insult me makes me want to drown them into a well and let them try to survive going up by themselves so that they feel how I feel to survive my days at school with them torturing me deeply. I'm truly madly deeply in pain. It feels like all the tears I dropped is the pain I gained everyday. If only they know how much it hurts, if only they know..
But nothing to regret now, I can't do anything to them. Teachers are always at their side. Almost none of the teachers are in my side cos they think I'm the naughtiest kid. Like wtf.
I am always the one who must (forcefully) say sorry, ask for apology, asking whether they're mad at me or not but THEY are the one who makes me mad all the time! They're telling me about one particular thing but they're saying that because they just wanna show that I'm bad and they're better than me, not because they care me. I'm sure they don't know the difference between care and bullshit cos they think it's the same. oh please.
My dearest friends who saw this, I'm a 14 years old girl which is nearly 15. I'm not that stupid to not realize the difference between bullshit and care. Besides, you shouldn't have to rule or even touch my life. What I am outside of the school is not your fcking business so please mind your own damn hell important business please! You have life, so have I. You have privacy, so have I. You have CHOICE, so have I! If you don't respect my choice, my privacy and my life then don't be surprised if someone does the same.
I  have learned that if you treat people badly, you will be treated badly too by anyone. Probably not the one whom you treat badly but someone unpredictable.
But sigh, what can I do? I have to survive these big storms for few more years. It is a long time for me, it's been only the 5th year I studied at this school and this fifth year is the first time they judged me about this one particular thing.
What I can do is only to accept the fact that these people who judged me are piece of s#!t from hell who just can't accept the choices I made. No, I don't want to cry another drops of tears because of this issues. Not anymore, they don't worth my tears. There are lots and lots of more important stuffs which are worth my tears. Tears aren't always sad you know, happiness causes tears too! But the tears they gave me are tears of extreme sadness. I don't want all these disaster to happen again. I don't want these nightmares again, I wanna wake up from these nightmares. Too tired. Way too tired.
ps. I'm not sorry for all my words to those who judged me because your words and action towards me is way more painful than these words I said :)
xoxo,
Pingih.